Barb's Blog
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Alcoholism
Itis close to Christmas, I have a tootache and can't seem to get the dentist's office to help me to get through the holidays; that is all the eating I have to do with an ache in my mouth. Can't get in to see the dentist, just too busy so the apointment lady says. What kind of Christmas spirit is this?? I am sure that Dr Ken would not like this not trying to get me in for a short visit to at least look at it. I have a daughter who is visiting and will not promise to come to stay with me as she wants to stay with her brother. She won't talk to me or promise me anything about staying over night with me. I feel like moving away from here. She is very jealous about my talking to her sister when she needs me, but won't talk to me anyway so feel I am being punished for something I did not do. She is Getting a divorce which she sprang on me when I visited last fall and then when I spoke to my son in law who was depressed and in bed, she is angry for treating his with compassion. This is no way to feel at Christmas but as a mother who grew up in an alcoholic home and then married an alcoholic home, I have to do what I have to do. At great expense, I bought a bed for the spare room with sheets and cover for her and my granddaughter to stay over night. She has not given me consent as to when she will be staying with me. I do not know what I have done because She will not tell me. She talks to others, but not to me. Nothing seems to please her as far as I am concerned, but must force myself to do what is right for me to do, anyway. Story of my life. Could not be any other way as my training in Al-Anon is "fake it until you make it." Get awfully tired of being taken for granted; all my children seem to take me for granted. I am 78 and I may have another 20 years of this shoddy behavior to put up with. I have tried to make some changes such as move to MO where a friend of mine lives but she has put me off. She has hinted of coming here to live close to me as her son lives in Ft Myers, FL. She is not coming here to see me for Christmas so I have nothing to look forward to. The only bright spot are my Al-Anon friends whom I see twice a week at meetings. I need a buddy but have no one who is very close. I have a sister who is married but works and has her husband she lives with, so really don't have a real buddy. This is my only outlet besides my Al-Anon group and friends; getting old is not for whimps. Barcm

Barb's Blog
Mood:  sad
Topic: Alcoholism
Hi, This blog is dedicated to my experiences with living with an alcoholic during my childhood. My dad was the alcoholic, but very functional and intelligent. As a child I first encountered his disease when was cutting wood, he cut his foot and all he did was smile at me as I looked up at him expecting to see him wince with pain. At that moment, I knew that something was wrong with my dad, but he did not seem to mind the bleeding as he gazed, smiling down at me.